A Shot in the Dark
by 2shy the Shippy
Summary: Post 2x07. A long, overdo conversation. "You destroying the memo said to me that you didn't have faith in me—that you didn't trust me to take care of the situation." Donna stared wide-eyed at Harvey. "That's not true. I had to protect you, Harvey." Rated T for Language.


Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Donna entered her apartment and tossed her keys on the table and put her purse on the couch. Silently, she exhaled. Tired. She was emotionally tired. Sleeping in and trying to distract herself from what she was feeling didn't make her feel any better. She was fired—no longer Harvey's secretary. A whirlwind of emotions had bombarded Donna's emotional state since that day. All at once, she felt anger, regret, helpless, pained, humiliated, disappointed, discouraged, and, most importantly, sadness. All at once. Despite the variety of emotions, only anger seemed to manifest itself.

Only anger.

But, that was only when she was around Harvey or Mike, but especially Harvey. Although Donne knew the circumstances were different, she resented Mike. Not as a person, but rather the fact that Harvey made an actual effort to fight for him. Not only did he fight, he put his job on the line as well. But, what did she get?

By no means was Donna stupid; she knew she was going to get fired. At the very least, she expected Harvey to fight for her. Even though he knew it was a losing battle, she expected him to do something. Instead, he met up with her at the elevator after she was terminated from Pearson and Hardman. At the very most, Donna was praying for a miracle. She hoped that Harvey would do his usually Harvey magic and save her job. It was a shot in the dark, but she hoped.

Although she had accused Harvey of expecting her to get rid of the document, she knew it wasn't true. Harvey expected Donna to take care of certain matters herself, she knew that it didn't extend to shredding that document. But, she had to protect him.

That was the problem.

Donna felt that she had to protect Harvey at all costs—any means necessary. And she did. Before she and Harvey decided to leave the DA's office together, Donna had gathered incriminating evidence against Cameron just in case. In her gut, she knew it would be an ace up her sleeve. But, with the Tanner case…the memo had caught her by surprise. That wasn't some small mistake that she and Harvey could laugh at either. God, she just…

Wanted to protect him.

If she were honest with herself, she would admit that her anger was more than about Harvey's lack of response. The shredding of the document was irresponsible, but she didn't believe that Harvey would sit there and do nothing. Donna thought she meant more to Harvey than just another legal assistant, but she supposed she was wrong.

She saw her voicemail light blinking and entered to the code to hear whoever had left a message.

"Donna…it's Harvey," Her former boss said as a way of introduction. "I just wanted to say…" Harvey was quiet for so long Donna thought that he had hung up. "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole—I should have fought for you."

Abruptly, he hung up. Donna stood frozen in her spot. He called. But, that wasn't enough. Harvey should have called sooner and he shouldn't have had his new assistant call. She wasn't one of his clients. She had been his fucking secretary for 12 fucking years! Donna saved his ass from going to jail and many other countless things—God, she was angry again. She only knew how to function when anger was her primary emotion. Well, when it came to thinking about Harvey at least.

Donna slightly jumped when she heard the buzzer.

She pushed the intercom button. "Who is it?"

"Harvey," he responded.

"Go away," she instructed. Donna didn't want to talk to him.

"No," Harvey said defiantly. "Did you get my message?"

The ex-legal secretary ignored him. Her former boss kept buzzing the bell for two minutes straight.

"What the fuck do you want, Harvey?" She snapped.

"I said did you get my message," For the most part, his voice sounded control, but Donna could hear a crack or two in it.

"Yeah, but that doesn't change anything." Donna leaned against the wall. "I'm surprised you didn't have your new secretary leave it—he was really getting great a leaving messages."

"I deserved that," Harvey was silent for a moment. "But, I want to talk."

"A little to late," she said softly.

"No," he denied her claim. "It isn't."

Unexpectedly, Donna buzzed Harvey up. She surprised both him and herself.

A minute later, she heard a knock of her door. As Donna opened the door, she was prepared to sass Harvey until she saw his face. His facial expression was emotionless, but his eyes were raging with betrayal. The lawyer took two steps into her apartment and Donna back up.

The fire burned deeply in Harvey's eyes as he clenched his jaw.

"Donna, you're fired," he was in her face and invading her personal space.

"What?" Donna stared confusedly at Harvey for a moment before catching on. "Harvey—"

"No, you don't get to speak," he shouted before getting his voice under control again. "If you were anyone else, I would have fired your ass on the spot. If you were anyone else, this would be a severe breach of trust. But, you aren't anyone else—you're Donna. Why didn't you just give me the fucking memo, so I could have fixed it?"

"Harvey, I—" She tried again.

"I said don't speak," Harvey began to pace. "Donna, I depended on you to have my back. I depended on you to make the right decisions and if you didn't know or if you were unsure, I expected you to come to me." He looked at her with disappointment in his eyes. "But, I didn't expect you to destroy evidence to protect me. And since you did that, I couldn't prevent you from being fired. This wasn't like Mike's situation where it was just his secret. We have Hardman trying to make a power play, we were getting sued, and I could have been disbarred. You destroying the memo said to me that you didn't have faith in me—that you didn't trust me to take care of the situation."

Donna stared wide-eyed at Harvey. "That's not true. I had to protect you, Harvey."

"No, you didn't," Harvey rubbed his face in frustration.

"Yes, I did," Donna closed her front door.

"Why," The lawyer held his hands out. "Why do you have to protect me?"

"Because despite that uncaring and untouchable bullshit you like to pretend, I know you aren't invincible." Donna said in a matter of fact tone. "And there are times where you so Goddamn stubborn that you need someone to look out for you." The red head wiped at her eyes. "Why didn't you fight for me?"

"Donna," Harvey's mask was back on and it irritated Donna.

"What the fuck, Harvey," Donna threw her arms up in exasperation. "I'm not asking you to bear your soul. All I want is a fucking explanation. Why didn't you fight for me?"

Harvey stared blankly at the ground. "Because I couldn't."

"Bullshit," Donna vehemently spit out. "You put your fucking job on the line for Mike, but you couldn't risk our neck for me—someone who was your secretary for over 12 fucking years. Well, I guess that says it all then, you didn't give a damn about me."

"Don't you dare say that," Harvey ran a hand through his hair. "I couldn't fight for you because either way I failed you. If I had done my job correctly the first time, this wouldn't have ever happened. And since I didn't, you tried to cover up my mistake."

Donna pushed her hand against Harvey's chest. "And don't you DARE take the blame for my mistake. Like you said, it was a decision—my decision."

Quietly, Harvey said, "I'm going to get your job back. Whatever it takes."

"Maybe I shouldn't have it back," Donna whispered.

Despite her words, she wanted to work for Harvey again, but was it really the best idea? As much as her decision to shred that document had everything to do with protecting Harvey, her emotional state and decisions after that had to do with her feelings for Harvey. There were some sacrifices that needed to be made. If she was going to have a personal life, Harvey couldn't be her boss anymore plain and simple. Donna would always choose Harvey over whatever boyfriend she was with. If she worked for Harvey again, her chances at personal happiness dwindled.

"You don't mean that," Harvey looked panicked.

"I do. I don't want it to be that way, but perhaps it should be," she said regretfully.

"I…" Harvey clenched his jaw, and then opened his mouth to speak. The redhead knew what was coming.

"Don't do it, Harvey," Donna looked at her with daring eyes. "Don't you do that to me." She shook her head.

"I need you, Donna," Harvey admitted.

"You don't need me. You can still do well with an assistant who knows what they are doing," she explained.

"I need you," he repeated.

"Harvey, like you said earlier, I screwed up big time. If I were anyone else, you would have fired me and wouldn't have given as second thought about re-hiring me," The two looked at each other. "You are going to find another secretary, Harvey. Not as good as me, because that is impossible, but you will." She tried to lighten the mood.

Suddenly, Harvey said, "I love you."

"No," Donna shook her head. "You didn't just say that—take it back."

"What?" he said incredulously. "No. Donna, I love you."

"I heard you the first time, Harvey, but what do you expect me to do?"

"I…don't know." He shrugged.

"Why now?" She questioned. "Why after all of this time? Why after I've been fired? Why when you are trying to hire me back?"

"Why not?" Donna looked for answers in his eyes. "Whether if you come back or not…it doesn't change how I feel."

"I've loved you for years, Harvey." Tears started to flow from Donna's eyes. "I need to know why you are telling me now." Donna approached him and the more she thought Harvey's confession, the more it angered her. She hit him in the chest. "Why now?"

"Because…" Silence filled the room for a moment. "Even if you don't come back to work for me, I can't imagine my life without you—I don't want to." Harvey stared at Donna. "These past few days have been bad enough as it is."

Donna's breath hitched in her throat. Did he just say what she thought he said? She looked at him and his eyes said yes. Yes, he said exactly what she thought he did. And he was serious. He wanted Donna—he needed Donna and not just in a professional sense. But, he loved her and he meant it.

"You have crappy timing," she quietly mentioned.

"I know," he agreed.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Harvey gently grabbed Donna's wrist, and then he drew circles on her palm with his free hand. "I don't know."

"We'll figure it out," Donna whispered. Harvey nodded in agreement before he slowly pulled Donna in his arms. "But, we still have a long way to go."

They stood in the middle of the room and held each other in silence.

THE END

A/N: This is a big candidate for revision and getting some extra things added to it—like the argument and "resolution".


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